Suicide

​Subtle signs of suicidal ideation include increased isolation, dramatic changes in appearance, and feelings or thoughts of not belonging. When in community with people with mental illness, we need to be prepared for an explicit and intentional conversation about suicide. While these conversations may feel unnerving, they are vital in caring for one another. Find a QPR, ASIST or Mental Health First Aid training in your area or host one at your church. You never know what conversations you may encounter with each bridge you cross.

When talking about suicide, be careful of the language that you use. “Died by suicide” is preferable to “committed suicide,” which invokes shame or blame. We know that God’s love is boundless on this side of the grave and beyond. God knows the deep pain of people who die by suicide and embraces them with compassion and grace. We can help loved ones remember this as they grieve.

National Suicide & Crisis Hotline This national help line is available 24/7 for people experiencing a mental health crisis and who may be at risk of suicide. It can be reached by dialing 988.

Tips for a Conversation about Suicidal Ideation

• Be direct. If you suspect someone may have suicidal thoughts, ask, “Have you been thinking about suicide?” This ensures there is no misunderstanding as you communicate.
• Don’t be afraid to talk about it. Talking about it will not make someone suicidal. In fact, it may help them to have an opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings.
• Avoid lecturing or criticisms. Saying things like “that’s a stupid thought,” or dismissing suicidal thoughts as ways to “get attention” may prevent people from sharing openly. Use the conversation to gather information, develop parameters for safety, and refer to professional supports. If you are unsure of what to say, call a suicide support line together. 
• Don’t promise to keep anything a secret. If someone is in danger of harming themselves or someone else, steps need to be taken to ensure they are safe, which often includes involving supportive others (such as family members, friends, doctors, pastors, and crisis counselors). 
• Follow up. This may not be a one-time conversation but one that evolves with your relationship.
• Mandated reporting. In many states, clergy and other church leaders are mandated reporters for people who are suicidal. Find out what the laws are in your state. Whether you are a mandated reporter or not, you can help people who are at risk by helping them get to an emergency room or calling 988.

Resources from Others

Prevention Training Materials

• QPR Institute This institute provides trainings for individuals and organizations, in person or online. Participants are trained to “Question, Persuade, and Refer” someone to help, gaining skills in recognizing the signs of someone contemplating suicide and supporting someone in crisis.
• Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) LivingWorks provides two-day, in-person trainings for individuals and organizations. Trainings include audiovisuals, discussions, and simulations and are facilitated by two experienced trainers. Participants learn to recognize signs of suicidal thoughts and how to intervene effectively, creating a safety plan and connecting the person with further support. The workshops address how societal attitudes toward suicide impact help-seeking behavior. Participants experience an increase in readiness, confidence, and capability to provide suicide first aid.

Educational Materials

• Suicide Prevention, Intervention and Response Video Series YouTube videos prepared by the Interfaith Network on Mental Illness for pastors and leaders of the faith community.
  • Warning Signs and Risk Factors for Suicide. 8 min.
  • How to Tell if a Person is Considering Suicide. 8 min.
  • Responding to a Suicidal Person. 11 min.
  • Aftermath: Responding to Family Members after a Suicide. 8 min.
  • Aftermath: Designing a Service for a Person Who Has Died by Suicide. 9 min.
• Preventing Suicide This guide by InnerBody includes definitions and statistics of death by suicide and resources for talking with someone considering death by suicide.

Supporting Survivors

• Fierce Goodbye: Living in the Shadow of Suicide. A penetrating account of a family dealing with suicide, this book offers solid guidance for those who worry about the eternal fate of a loved one. It provides a reliable and readable summary of Christian thinking about suicide, useful for pastors, counselors, students, and teachers. Published by MennoMedia; written by G. Lloyd Carr and Gwendolyn Carr.
• Fierce Goodbye: Living in the Shadow of Suicide DVD. Five loving and courageous families take you to the innermost depths of their heartbreak and pain to bring hope and healing to others dealing with the numbing aftereffects of a death by suicide. Additional families, individuals, mental health experts, Bible scholars and theologians add their experiences and insights in grappling with the topic of suicide. The documentary is a groundbreaking look at the intersection of faith and suicide, tackling difficult questions asked by those who survive a death by suicide. 44-minute video plus two hours of bonus content. Produced by MennoMedia.